Waning about weaning (when did you stop breastfeeding?)

I was one of the lucky ones.

Long before having Levi I had decided that I wanted to try breastfeeding. I had done a bit of reading about it and talked to a lot of other moms about their experiences. I would have considered myself pretty well-informed on the subject, and I was very well-prepared for the fact that it might be extremely difficult… and painful. 

Actually, I had heard so many horror stories that I thought there was no way around it.

I thought to myself, “If I can just make it through the first six weeks it will get easier and it will be so worth all of the pain and trouble.” I would prepare for the worst and then grit my teeth with sheer determination until it got easier. (I know, I know. You’re already snickering here… Classic first-time-mom response right?)

And then I gave birth… And tried breastfeeding… And from the first moment it was…

Easy.

Imagine my shock! 

Imagine my relief! 

Imagine my joy!

I know that my experience is not the “norm” unfortunately, but for me breastfeeding was as natural and easy as anyone could ever hope for. (And after my unexpected c-section, I think it was grace to me… I’m not sure if I could have emotionally handled breastfeeding dramas at that point in time.)

And aside from the standard clogged duct here and there (yeah, that’s painful!) it has continued to be easy and hassle-free up until this day.

My plan has always been to breastfeed until Levi is twelve months old so that I wouldn’t need to wean to formula and then over to cow’s milk. I figured that if I could make it to his first birthday then I could easily wean straight over to cow’s milk and that would be that. Easy peasy.

It is now 24 days until Levi’s first birthday and I’m faced with decision-time. 

And–although I’m normally an incredibly decisive person–I find myself… waffling on this one.

Do I really want to wean? Is this the right time? If I do, will I regret it? If I don’t will I resent it?

I’ve loved the convenience and ease and experience of breastfeeding and there’s a small part of me that wants to hang on. (Oh, the simplicity when traveling and the unrivaled ability to quickly comfort a sick or teething baby!!!)

And yet there’s another part of me that is more than ready to say good-bye to sharing my body in that way (yes, I sometimes feel like it’s “milking time” at mama’s bar *moooooo*). And I’m also ready for the freedom of not being bound to feeding times. (I still nurse at wake-up and bedtime and 1-2 times during the day… and have never really gotten into the swing of pumping much.) And then there’s the wanting to have my hormonal balance back to normal… for many reasons.

I’ve read what the experts say – there’s really no ideal time to wean… other than when mom and bub are both ready (and when there’s no major changes or sickness happening).

So the question is, am I ready? Is Levi ready?

Never mind cultural norms. Never mind convenience. Never mind what I thought I “should” do. Never mind age or months or measured out food.

Are we ready? And if we are, then how long do I give us to go through the process? A week? A month? A couple of months?

I’m not expecting anyone to answer these questions for me. It’s our decision, it’s personal, and I’m more than comfortable with that.

But what I am wondering is how you experienced weaning? Did you lead? Did you let your baby lead? Was it a combination? What it for medical reasons or going back to work reasons or emotional reasons?

Did you just know when it was time?

Would you go back and do it differently if you could?

waning just a little,